www.raiseyourkidsright.com

Surprised? So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect — the BRAIN — that the heart is simply overlooked.

The brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it ... Direction ... and enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot. 

One can grow up and be a super genius, but without the emotional balance and steadiness that comes from an educated heart, one's life may not run as smoothly as one would like, and even wind up being wasted or wrecked. No one wants that for their children.

Educating the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons — the overriding principles that govern our lives — and the matching Life Skills that make it work. 

Educating the heart is how good character qualities are 
developed and include such things as . . .

• Honesty
• Kindness
• Integrity 
• Unselfishness
• Being a willing and diligent worker
• Doing chores without being told
• Reaching out and helping others
• Learning conversational skills
• Making and keeping friends  

There is much more . . .

They need to know the purpose of Rules (creates order out of chaos), and why they have to follow them. 

They need to know that . . .

Inside the home: Good or bad behavior earns either the goodwill or anger of parents and the resulting treatment varies accordingly. The child who continues to behave badly simply hasn't made that connection or doesn't know how to change his ways. The response usually being, "What'd I do?"

Outside the home: If they behave badly or rudely, people draw away from them and don't want to be their friend. Bad behavior prevents the development of warm and close friendships and can lead to loneliness, depression and other emotional problems. On the other hand, when they behave well people draw close and want to be their friend, resulting in more happiness, greater self confidence, and healthy self esteem. 

Most kids never figure this out until they are grown up, but by then much damage has been created in their lives. Teaching just this one simple concept . . . "The way you behave is the way you are treated" . . . not just at home but in life also. And it rescues both you and them from much grief. Some people grow up and never get it — they never really get the connection between what they do or say and the way people react to them — often becoming blamers very early on and for the rest of their lives blame everyone else around them for things they themselves are responsible for. Chances are you probably know a few people like that.

Educating the heart
makes a big difference

I taught these lessons to my own kids as they were growing up and because of it they were very easy to raise — all five of them — even through the so-called difficult teens. (Did I mention that for many of those years I was a divorced working mother? So the whole load of teaching, training and raising them fell on me.)   

If I had realized then how effective the lessons were, I certainly would have been more diligent and consistent than I was. However, I'm grateful for the little I did do because even that made a huge difference. You see, I had always thought my kids were just naturally easy to get along with, to talk to, to raise—and to a certain extent, they were—but after teaching these life lessons to a classroom of kids for several years and observing other parents with their children, and seeing the outcome, I know the lessons made a major difference.

In The Schoolroom

Once a week I teach these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of 7 and 8 year old kids. I have been doing this for the past six years. The teacher is delighted with the improvement in class behavior and attitudes of the children. No more troublemakers either because their behavior quickly improves as the lessons sink in, and they, too, become nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the difference in the children and asked if I would do the same in their classrooms.

The kids love these lessons and look forward to my coming to their class every week. Last year it happened that recess immediately followed my class time, and once when I ran overtime and the recess bell rang, I remarked, "Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!"  Were Life's Lessons desired more than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't it? 

Let me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person and I just go in and talk to them about these life lessons that we all live by... the subject matter itself engrosses them and they don't want me to stop. The class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn about life, how it works, how to navigate it successfully, and what they need to do to prepare themselves. And even more important, they become aware of how important their education really is. The teacher was pleased at how much more studious the class had become after these lessons.

Well, life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some information on putting the pieces together. That's what they want! And that's what they want from you, their parent. It's not enough to make them brush their teeth and clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why are things the way they are, and so on. 

Growing up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right! 

They really want the answers
to questions like . . .

• "What is life all about?" 
• "How do I fit in?"
• "What are the rules?"
• "Why do I have to follow the rules?"
• "Why do I have to do this . . . that . . . or the other thing?".
• "How come? . . . who says?. . . so what? . . . who cares?" . . . etc.

These aren't "book learning" type questions, they are "heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on the academics — educating the BRAIN. Of course education is vital for getting through life successfully. However, the problem is that educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside.  Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even though the spiritual overlaps and polishes the other areas in your child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done in the home by YOU! But how?

That is the Big Question . . .

How do you teach your children to have emotional balance? A good heart? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles to your children and instill it deep in their hearts? It's really not as hard as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know!
 

Kids have the capacity to learn and understand some pretty big concepts, like INTEGRITY. Do you know how to teach that? To get it across to them, to actually INSTILL it in their hearts so that it becomes their own inner star that guides them? How much easier to handle would your child be? These 2nd graders had no difficulty with the concept.

1. Physical  (The Body)
    You feed, clothe and keep them active and in good shape.

2. Mental  (The Brain)
    You send them to school to be educated.

3. Emotional  (The Heart)
    It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents – YOU – at home.

4. Spiritual  (Your Faith)
    Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us.

Taking care of all four sides produces a "well rounded" individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After all, what is a parent for? Are you just a caretaker? A warden? No. You are, and must see yourself as, Teacher, Mentor, Coach, Guide and Cheerleader all rolled into one. You'll notice that teachers, mentors, coaches and guides not only teach their protégés but also correct them, however, you'll also notice that Critic is not on the list. See your child as your protégé.