needed parenting advice" -Gary Halbert
Ought To Know
Scolding, Pushing, And
And Start Getting The
Results You Want
Once You Learn This Long
reveal it in just a few moments. But I'll tell you this...
growing up is hard to do and children want
you to learn this secret because it makes growing up much easier
Just as you want to be a successful mom or dad, your children want
to be successful too. Successful at
being a kid, successful at growing up. They really do. But what do they know?
After all, they're the new kids on the block to this adventure
Underneath, What They Wonder About
and Really Want To Know Is...
is life all about and what do I need to
know to navigate it successfully?"
is, they don't have the answers, and nobody is telling them,
and they don't know what questions to ask. What if you had
just started a new job and found yourself in that predicament?
So you ask, "What am I supposed to do?" and everyone
shrugs, "Just walk around, you'll figure it out..."
would you do? Guess? Take a few stabs in the dark? Why
not? Well, children do the same thing, they guess and
start doing what comes "naturally." In other words,
whatever they feel like doing. After all, if it comes natural,
and feels good, it's gotta be okay. Right?
but if it becomes their internal guideline it simply leads to
a lot of bad behavior and the "my way is better than your
way" attitude, and unfortunately, a lot of yelling and
Teaching them the overriding
principles of life that we all live by, and the matching life skills
that make it work, sheds light and understanding on their
path, helps them make sense out of the world, which in turn helps them develop their personality, attitude and behavior more than any amount of yelling, scolding, pushing and prodding
could ever do.
it's easier than you think, because once you learn the Secret a
lot of the usual "normal" parenting problems will
simply fade away.
from stunned but delighted parents
"Your method is the only
one that worked in getting my 2-1/2 yr. old to stop racing
around the house, and I tried everything!"
-- Joseph M, Colorado (2-1/2 yr old son)
was sick and tired of my son's whining"
"I was sick and tired of my
son's whining every time he had to do his chores. I had to
push and prod and listen to him whine constantly. It was
driving me out of my mind and I didn't know what to do
except yell a lot. The next evening when he started in
again, I sat down and told him what you said in your book
about being a good worker. I nearly fell over when he
jumped up and took out the trash and hasn't whined since! I
can't believe it! But I love it!"
-- Amy, Edmonds, WA (9 yr old son)
exciting thing that's happened this year"
"Learning your method of raising children was the
single most exciting thing that has happened to me this
-- Mike, Bellevue, WA (3-1/2 yr old daughter)
"I was taught long ago that the older women were to help train the younger women. Your experience is invaluable, and God gave you the ability to put it together in such a way that younger mothers can learn from you. Thanks for doing this!
in History Revealed by a
Mother of Five
Dear Mom and Dad,
It's not supposed
to be a secret, so why is it? Just that somewhere in our world of
high technology, higher learning and advanced science, it got lost
in the shuffle.
my name is Martha Stevens
I'm a mother of five, 3 girls 2
boys, all grown now with families of their own. And you
know . . . everything I learned in the process of raising
my kids came together with great clarity once they were grown and
It was easy to see what I should have done
after it was over,
but the time has passed, they've grown up and my job is done. You
can't go back to fix anything.
So, I sat down and
wrote the book I wish I had when I was a young mother because if I'd known
what I know
now . . . how much easier it would have been for me. Now I want to pass it on to you, to
shorten your learning curve. So
please take a
moment to get the information below.
Kids To Follow The Rules"
and a special 7-email
mini course on
"Teaching Kids Life Skills"
If I can help you to
avoid some of the stumbling blocks and pitfalls it will not only
help you, but also your children who will be able to grow up with
the kind of coaching and mentoring they need from you in order to
blossom to their fullest potential.
You will also grow into your
fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be.
just what is
It was only after my
children had grown and gone that in looking back I could clearly see the
twists and turns, the difficulties and the obstacles that children
experience in the process of growing up. It also became clear what
it was that they really, really needed to navigate through
those years without crashing.
So I began writing
these thoughts down, not intending to write a book, however, having
once put pen to paper I just kept writing.
But, I won't keep you
The secret is...
So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect - the BRAIN
- that the heart is simply overlooked.
brain gives one knowledge, but
the heart gives it ... Direction ... and
enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot. And it's in the
heart where character is forged.
In the end it's not
that wins out and
A boy or girl can grow up and to be a super genius, even
famous, but without emotional balance
and and the confidence and stability that comes from an educated heart,
they can make a big mess of their lives. No one wants that for their children.
Not even a small mess.
the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons - the overriding
principles that govern our lives - and the matching Life
Skills that make it work, and the "reasons why" they
have to learn it.
includes such qualities as . . .
... and more
Attitudes, they learn to...
Speak to you with respect
No more backtalk, yelling or arguing
Not demanding, but requesting
... and more
Being a willing and diligent worker
Doing chores without being pushed
Reaching out and helping others
... and more
Teaching them the
"reasons why" that exist behind everything they have to do
and behind every rule they have to follow makes life a little easier
for them and for you, too. It addresses both the
spoken (or yelled) words and the hidden thoughts that run around in
their heads. And ultimately it will
bring you a peaceful home and quality children. You will feel like
a warm, cozy blanket has floated down and softly wrapped your home.
Even More Than All That
They Need to Learn . . .
Skills: How to recover from failure, defeat,
sadness, depression, loss of belongings from theft, loss of a
friend, taunting by others, rejection, lack of friends,
Skills: How to handle and overcome the negative
tendencies in themselves that are common to all humans and
how to rise above it... not letting it have a place in
their life. Things like temper,
anger, nastiness, meanness, cruelty, disloyalty, not
caring about others, revenge, swearing, getting even,
kicking, punching, bullying, and so on.
on the finer, positive qualities: Kindness, helpfulness,
respect, getting along, conversational skills, consideration, generosity, pitching in to help, helping
their brother or sister, self control, responsibility, positive
attitude, courage, etc.
"My husband had been talking to me about teaching
our son the "life skills" that he was going
to need to survive and make it in the world, but I had
NO IDEA what he was talking about, and he had NO IDEA
how to teach or even explain to me what he was talking
about. But now I know.
"Thank you so much for your work, it
indeed has made life much easier in raising our 7 year
a week I taught these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of
7 and 8 year old kids. I did this as a volunteer teacher for a
period of six years.
The teacher was delighted with the improvement in class behavior and
attitudes of the children brought about by these weekly lessons.
improved their behavior as the lessons sank in, and
they, too, became nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the
difference in the children and asked if I would do the same in their
kids loved these lessons and looked forward to my coming to their class
every week. Once it happened that recess immediately followed
my class time, and I ran overtime and the recess bell rang. I remarked,
"Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted
spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!" They wanted me
to finish what I was talking about.
Lessons desired more than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't
me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep
them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person (I think I'm even
somewhat boring), I just go in and
talk to them about these life lessons ... and the
subject matter itself engrosses them. The
class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their
questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn
about life and what it holds for them, and what they need to do to
prepare themselves for it.
And even more important, they become aware of
how important their education really is and why it's their
responsibility to be good students. Their attitude changed from
"I have to be here," to "I want to be here." And
their teacher was pleased at how much more studious the class
became after these lessons.
it they are
so eager to know?
life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some
information on putting the pieces together. That's
what they want! And that's what they want from you,
their parent. It's not enough to make them brush their teeth and
clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to
manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why things are the way they are,
and so on.
up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right!
really want the answers
to questions like . . .
• "What is life all about?"
• "How do I fit in?"
• "What does it take to succeed?"
• "What are the rules?"
• "Why do I have to follow the rules?"
•" Why do I have to do this . . . that
. . . or the other thing?".
• "How come? . . . who says?. . .
so what? . . . who cares?"
. . . etc.
What... How... Why...
aren't "book learning" type questions, they are
"heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on
the academics - educating the brain. Of course we know that's
important for getting through life successfully but, unfortunately, educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside.
Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even
though the spiritual overlaps and polishes the other areas in your
child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done
in the home by YOU! But how?
the Big Question . . .
do you teach
your children to be emotionally healthy? To be hard
working, respectful, doesn't backtalk or yell at you?
How do you teach good character qualities and life
principles and instill it deep in their
hearts? It's really not as hard as you may think. Kids
love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry
for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up
recess? They really do want to know!
Every year Mrs. Pope
gave the class an assignment to write a letter to me about what they had
learned. (I think this may be a "first," testimonials from
Here's a small sample...
from the kids
(Grammar and misspelled words left intact).
. . come to my classroom next year"
"I learned a lot. I learned that you should
think about others just as much as you think about yourself.
I liked it when you told us about roots, foundation, and
life skills. I hope you can come to my classroom next
just want to thank you"
you for teach us so many thing like our life skills and
when you taught us the conversation and self discipine
and I just want to thank you. You help us so
. . never quit"
learned how to start a conversation, and how to
persuade, never quit no matter what. We love haveing
you as are teacher. Your the best persin in the world.
See you this Friday."
learned . . . honesty and integrity"
"I really learned a lot in your teaching! I learned
good manners and honesty and integrity. I liked all your
other lessons too."
have the capacity to learn and understand some pretty deep
concepts. You need to know how to teach it to your kids.
A lot of it is
simple conversation. I recommend a weekly "Family
Meeting" where a chosen topic is discussed, and
anything else your child brings up. In time, your children
will start bringing up the hidden thoughts in the back of
their minds and you'll be thankful for the opportunity to
straighten out their thinking before it's too late.
Your children will love
having what they call "real" conversations with you.
Family Meetings are a
to actually instill these life skills and principles
hearts so that it becomes their
own inner star that guides them.
How much easier to
handle would your child be? These 2nd graders had no
difficulty with these lessons.
like all humans,
have Four sides . . .
Physical (The Body)
You feed, clothe, keep them
active and in good shape.
Mental (The Brain)
You send them to school to be educated.
Emotional (The Heart)
It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents
– YOU – at home.
Spiritual (Your Faith)
Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other
three do not satisfy us.
care of all four sides produces a "well rounded"
individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all
four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After
all, what are parents for? Are you just a caretaker? A warden? No.
You are, and must see yourself as...
• Guide and
...all rolled into one.
Coaches and Guides not only teach
their students, cheer them on with praise and encouragement, but also critique and correct
them. But you'll notice that being a Critic is not on the list.
Transfer of Power and Control
In EIGHTEEN Years! -
raise your child from a totally helpless babe when ALL
controls are in your hands, to a fully
functioning young man or woman when ALL CONTROLS are
in THEIR hands. (Yes, you will have to let go).
Within a span of 18 years you must gradually transfer
controls over to them, so they are totally
independent young adults ready to step out and stand
on their own two feet. "Look out world, here
Did you prepare them well?
really don't get a second chance
to go back and fix any mistakes
Whenever I ask
parents of grown children this question, "In looking back, what would
you have done differently?" They usually say
something like, "I wish I hadn't yelled so much,"
or "I wish I had listened to them more." or "I
wish. . ." Regrets. It's hard to bear.
they've reached that magic age of 18 your job is done!
(Even if you don't think so.)
what you will have is . . . experience and
And then you'll find yourself saying, "Hmmm, you know, I
should've done this . . . or that
. . . or the other thing.
it's too late
turned 18. What's done is done, your child is no longer
listening to you, they have shifted gears and become their own
person, intent on running their own life, doing it their
However, until that day arrives, you've got work to do!
do you start with?
with the basics...
why start with WORK?
the ability to work hard and get a job done lays the
foundation for everything else you will teach them in the
years to come. Such a child will be self motivated and
But a lazy child is difficult to teach and
accomplishes very little even with considerable pushing and
is like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes!" (Proverbs
10:26). It's a harmful quality in a husband or wife, so how much more
so should you be careful that it does not take root in your children? An
industrious son or daughter is a joy, a lazy one an aggravation.
want them to be:
workers (Diligent and busy, not slackers or lazy)
Self Starters (Need no pushing or prodding)
to carry a job to its completion (Including the
chores without whining or grumbling (A complaining child
makes life weary, but a cooperative, pleasant child is
energizing, and brings harmony and pleasantness into your home)
Reaching out to help
others, including their own brothers and sisters. (What a priceless quality
this is, and how it delights a parent's heart)
book shows you how to eliminate the Number
One Battle between you and your child - WORK!
ability to be a good worker, carry a job through, and do it well
without complaint, is the most marvelous skill one could have.
is a life skill that will take them through thick and thin no matter
what life hands them.
we want to do
or achieve in life
requires some kind of
to achieve it.
It's called WORK!
Nothing gets done
Yet most kids never quite learn this concept of why they should be
hard working. Many haven't even gotten past the first step of
picking up after themselves.
is, once the chronic scolding (you) and resistance (them) begins, a
family becomes dysfunctional.
That is why WORK is the focus of
my book. It underlies everything else you want them to learn.
It is the basis of harmonious relationships rather than combative ones
and you will have a calm and peaceful home – an oasis from the world
matter whether your child is 3 or 16, these principles apply.
I've included typical conversations in the book that you can have with your child,
making it easy for you to teach them in a pleasant,
spend a small fortune outfitting your kids from the neck DOWN.
And then you spend another fortune educating them from the neck
of what value is it if they
grow up and can't handle life?
It is the heart that defines them as to the person they are,
and the person they will become. The mere acquisition of
knowledge does not do that. "Raise
Your Kids Right The First Time Around, There Is No Second
Chance," helps you to educate their heart, the seat of
I do hope this e-mail finds you well. I ordered your
ebook. It is tremendous.
reinvent the wheel . . .
the time you learn whether your method
worked or not, they are grown and gone . . .
And precious YEARS are lost!
you really want to be saying "Clean up your room" for the
next 18 years? Instill that quality in your child at an early age and
think of all the years of frustration you will save.
mothers do you know who are still telling their kids at
16 or 17 to clean up their rooms or pick up after themselves? How much
is a peaceful home and peaceful relationships with your children
worth? How many years of stress would that relieve?
gain the benefit of over 30 years of my experience without
waiting for the years to pass! What an incredible head start
that is. The book is
solid information all the way through and primarily focuses on work
It's not just
on getting them to do their chores, you can find that kind of
I show you how to
teach them the concepts and principles
that underlie the reasons why work is, and
will become, an important feature in their lives. That
work and behavior is the basis upon which they attain anything
else they want in life. That the satisfaction and joy
which a job well done brings is priceless!
you will know how to instill that pleasure in your child.
will also gain a new awareness of your role as teacher, coach, mentor,
guide and cheerleader for your kids. It will make what you do, easier.
Thanks so much! I loved the newsletter. Not only did it give
me great advice on raising my child, but also made me
more self aware. Thank you for what you do. I really
You can get "Raise Your Kids Right The First Time Around,
There Is No Second Chance," today for $19.97 and I'll include...
THREE VERY SPECIAL BONUSES
With Your Order
This is key! It is so important.
Appreciation and gratitude polishes your children and
makes them shine. It is what underlies good or bad
attitudes. When you grasp the importance of this basic
quality you'll understand why time-outs or restrictions,
by themselves, don't cure bad attitudes. This lesson also
instills in them an appreciation and gratitude for you
and all that you do for them and all that they have.
This alone will lighten your load and delight your
(Yours Free - Value: priceless)
This is fun for the kids. This lesson measures their
"Timeline" and gives them a glimpse of the
future. The future is always hard to envision, even for
grownups. But this gives them the "Big Picture," a
glimpse of their future, their life. And it
helps them to become aware of what's ahead of them and how
the things they do now (schoolwork, chores, behavior,
attitude, etc.) impacts their future. This builds upon the
previous lesson about appreciation and gratitude. Each
lesson flows easily into the next - and their knowledge
grows. (Yours Free - Value: priceless)
This lesson continues to build upon the previous ones.
It is the third of these three most basic lessons
that once you teach it to your kids, you will forever have
a "handle" - a simple, kind, and gentle way
- for correcting and teaching them all
the other lessons and skills they must learn as they grow.
the fact is, Mom and Dad, growing up and getting it right
really is hard to do. (Yours Free - Value:
These three bonus lessons and the book will instill in your children a
sense of responsibility and a caring about what they do and how they
behave - you will begin to notice a change in behavior and attitude
taking place and be quietly pleased.
more can I say? I really want you to have all this material. This
isn't something I put together on the spur of the moment or in a flash
of inspiration. More than three decades of parenting experience stand behind
these invaluable lessons. And with those years came hindsight,
knowledge, clarity and, I hope, a measure of wisdom.
know you love your children, but sometimes it's tough to plow your way
through the frustration and workload you face daily. And you hate it
when you find yourself yelling. But that only happens because you
don't know what else to do because, so far, no matter what you do,
nothing seems to change.
only have 18 years to be a hands-on Mom or Dad. And believe me, the
years fly by faster than you think. (Wasn't it only yesterday your
precious baby was born?) Don't let frustration or anger get in the way
of enjoying every moment of it. And always remember, yelling is not
guarantee. . .
60 DAY GUARANTEE -
you don't see the results YOU want or expect -or-
if you are unsatisfied with it in any way at all . . .
YOUR MONEY WILL BE REFUNDED WITHOUT
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