"Enormously needed parenting advice" -Gary Halbert

A Secret About Raising
Kids That Every Parent

Ought To Know!

Stop Yelling   Lecturing Scolding   Pushing And
Prodding  And Start Getting The Results You Want

Once You Learn This Long
Forgotten Secret!


What secret?

I'll reveal it in just a few moments. But I'll tell you this... growing up is hard to do and children want you to learn this secret because it makes growing up much easier for them

Just as you want to be a successful mom or dad, your children want to be successful too. Successful at being a kid, successful at growing up. They really do. But what do they know? After all, they're the new kids on the block to this adventure called life.

And Underneath, What They Wonder About 
and Really Want To Know Is...

"What is life all about and what do I need to 
know to navigate it successfully?"

Problem is, they don't have the answers, and nobody is telling them, and they don't know what questions to ask. What if you had just started a new job and found yourself in that predicament? So you ask, "What am I supposed to do?" and everyone shrugs, "Just walk around, you'll figure it out..." 

What would you do? Guess? Take a few stabs in the dark? Why not? Well, children do the same thing, they guess and start doing what comes "naturally." In other words, whatever they feel like doing. After all, if it comes natural, and feels good, it's gotta be okay. Right? 

Childish reasoning, but if it becomes their internal guideline it simply leads to a lot of bad behavior and the "my way is better than your way" attitude, and unfortunately, a lot of yelling and scolding.

Teaching them the overriding principles of life that we all live by, and the matching life skills that make it work, sheds light and understanding on their path, helps them make sense out of the world, which in turn helps them develop their personality, attitude and behavior more than any amount of yelling, scolding, pushing and prodding could  ever do. 

And it's easier than you think, because once you learn the Secret a lot of the usual "normal" parenting problems will simply fade away.

Letters from stunned but delighted parents

"I tried everything!"

"Your method is the only one that worked in getting my 2-1/2 yr. old to stop racing around the house, and I tried everything!"           
                           -- Joseph M, Colorado (2-1/2 yr old son)

"I was sick and tired of my son's whining"

"I was sick and tired of my son's whining every time he had to do his chores. I had to push and prod and listen to him whine constantly. It was driving me out of my mind and I didn't know what to do except yell a lot. The next evening when he started in again, I sat down and told him what you said in your book about being a good worker. I nearly fell over when he jumped up and took out the trash and hasn't whined since! I can't believe it! But I love it!"  
                         -- Amy, Edmonds, WA (9 yr old son)

"Most exciting thing that's happened this year"

"Learning your method of raising children was the single most exciting thing that has happened to me this year."   
                       -- Mike, Bellevue, WA (3-1/2 yr old daughter)


"I was taught long ago that the older women were to help train the younger women. Your experience is invaluable, and God gave you the ability to put it together in such a way that younger mothers can learn from you. Thanks for doing this!
                                                               Mary Shores   

The Greatest Parenting Secret 
in History Revealed by a 
Mother of Five 

Dear Mom and Dad,

It's not supposed to be a secret, so why is it? Just that somewhere in our world of high technology, higher learning and advanced science, it got lost in the shuffle. 

Hi, my name is Martha Stevens

I'm a mother of five, 3 girls 2 boys, all grown now with families of their own. And you know . . . everything I learned in the process of raising my kids came together with great clarity once they were grown and gone. 

It was easy to see what I should have done after it was over, but the time has passed, they've grown up and my job is done. You can't go back to fix anything.

So, I sat down and wrote the book I wish I had when I was a young mother because if I'd known then what I know now . . . how much easier it would have been for me. Now I want to pass it on to you, to shorten your learning curve. So please take a moment to get the information below.  

"Teaching Kids To Follow The Rules"

and a special 7-email mini course on
"Teaching Kids Life Skills"

Your Name:
Your E-Mail:

Your privacy is assured

Learn from me

If I can help you to avoid some of the stumbling blocks and pitfalls it will not only help you, but also your children who will be able to grow up with the kind of coaching and mentoring they need from you in order to blossom to their fullest potential. 

You will also grow into your fullest potential as the wonderful parent you want to be.

So, just what is 
the Secret?

It was only after my children had grown and gone that in looking back I could clearly see the twists and turns, the difficulties and the obstacles that children experience in the process of growing up. It also became clear what it was that they really, really needed to navigate through those years without crashing.

So I began writing these thoughts down, not intending to write a book, however, having once put pen to paper I just kept writing.  

But, I won't keep you in suspense.

The secret is...

Educating the

Surprised? So much emphasis is placed on educating the intellect  - the BRAIN -  that the heart is simply overlooked.

The brain gives one knowledge, but the heart gives it ... Direction ... and enriches life in a way that logic alone cannot.  And it's in the heart where character is forged.

In the end it's not
(the brain)
(the heart)
that wins out and
makes life

A boy or girl can grow up and to be a super genius, even famous, but without emotional balance and and the confidence and stability that comes from an educated heart, they can make a big mess of their lives. No one wants that for their children. Not even a small mess.

Educating the heart is done by teaching Life's Lessons - the overriding principles that govern our lives - and the matching Life Skills that make it work, and the "reasons why" they have to learn it.   

It includes such qualities as . . .

  • Good Character


        ... and more

  • Good Attitudes, they learn to...
        Speak to you with respect

        No more backtalk, yelling or arguing 
        Not demanding, but requesting 

        ... and more

  • Good Work Skills
       Being a willing and diligent worker

       Doing chores without being pushed

       Reaching out and helping others

       ... and more

Teaching them the "reasons why" that exist behind everything they have to do and behind every rule they have to follow makes life a little easier for them and for you, too. It addresses both the spoken (or yelled) words and the hidden thoughts that run around in their heads. And  ultimately it will bring you a peaceful home and quality children. You will feel like a warm, cozy blanket has floated down and softly wrapped your home.

But Even More Than All That 
They Need to Learn . . .

  • Coping Skills: How to recover from failure, defeat, sadness, depression, loss of belongings from theft,  loss of a friend, taunting by others, rejection, lack of friends, and more.

  • Life Skills: How to handle and overcome the negative tendencies in themselves that are common to all humans and how to rise above it... not letting it have a place in their life. Things like temper, anger, nastiness, meanness, cruelty, disloyalty, not caring about others, revenge, swearing, getting even, kicking, punching, bullying, and so on.

  • Putting on the finer, positive qualities: Kindness, helpfulness, respect, getting along, conversational skills, consideration, generosity, pitching in to help, helping their brother or sister, self control, responsibility, positive attitude, courage, etc.

   "My husband had been talking to me about teaching our son the "life skills" that he was going to need to survive and make it in the world, but I had NO IDEA what he was talking about, and he had NO IDEA how to teach or even explain to me what he was talking about. But now I know.
   "Thank you so much for your work, it indeed has made life much easier in raising our 7 year old."

In The Schoolroom

Once a week I taught these Life Skills lessons to a second grade class of 7 and 8 year old kids. I did this as a volunteer teacher for a period of six years. The teacher was delighted with the improvement in class behavior and attitudes of the children brought about by these weekly lessons.  

Troublemakers quickly improved their behavior as the lessons sank in, and they, too, became nice little kids. Other teachers noticed the difference in the children and asked if I would do the same in their classrooms.

The kids loved these lessons and looked forward to my coming to their class every week. Once it happened that recess immediately followed my class time, and I ran overtime and the recess bell rang. I remarked, "Oops, it's time for me to stop!" The children reacted spontaneously, "No, no, don't stop!"  They wanted me to finish what I was talking about. 

Were Life's Lessons desired more than recess? Yes! Pretty amazing, isn't it? 

Let me be quick to say that I don't put on a "show" to keep them entertained. I'm just an ordinary person (I think I'm even somewhat boring), I just go in and talk to them about these life lessons ... and the subject matter itself engrosses them. The class is interactive, I draw them out, get their opinions, their questions (they ask very thoughtful ones), and they get to learn about life and what it holds for them, and what they need to do to prepare themselves for it. 

And even more important, they become aware of how important their education really is and why it's their responsibility to be good students. Their attitude changed from "I have to be here," to "I want to be here." And their teacher was pleased at how much more studious the class became after these lessons.

What is it they are
so eager to know? 

Well, life is, after all, a puzzle, and they want some help, some information on putting the pieces together. That's what they want! And that's what they want from you, their parent. It's not enough to make them brush their teeth and clean their room. They want to know what life is about and how to manage it. . . how they fit in. . . why things are the way they are, and so on. 

Growing up is hard to do and they want to know how to do it right! 

They really want the answers
to questions like . . .

"What is life all about?" 
"How do I fit in?"
"What does it take to succeed?"
"What are the rules?"
"Why do I have to follow the rules?"
" Why do I have to do this . . . that . . . or the other thing?".
"How come? . . . who says?. . . so what? . . . who cares?" . . . etc.

What... How... Why... How Come...? 

These aren't "book learning" type questions, they are "heart learning," yet virtually all emphasis is placed on the academics - educating the brain. Of course we know that's important for getting through life successfully but, unfortunately, educating the HEART simply falls by the wayside.  

Parents tend to expect Sunday school to fill the gap, and even though the spiritual overlaps and polishes the other areas in your child, the actual molding of the heart and its emotions must be done in the home by YOU! But how?

That is the Big Question . . .

How do you teach your children to be emotionally healthy? To be hard working, respectful, doesn't backtalk or yell at you? How do you teach good character qualities and life principles and instill it deep in their hearts? It's really not as hard as you may think. Kids love it, no, change that to . . . they are hungry for it! Why else would the second graders be willing to give up recess? They really do want to know!

Every year Mrs. Pope gave the class an assignment to write a letter to me about what they had learned. (I think this may be a "first," testimonials from kids!)

Here's a small sample...

Letters from the kids
(Grammar and misspelled words left intact).

". . . come to my classroom next year"

"I learned a lot. I learned that you should think about others just as much as you think about yourself. I liked it when you told us about roots, foundation, and life skills. I hope you can come to my classroom next year. "

"I just want to thank you"

"Thank you for teach us so many thing like our life skills and when you taught us the conversation and self discipine and I just want to thank you. You help us so much."

". . . never quit"

"I learned how to start a conversation, and how to persuade, never quit no matter what. We  love haveing you as are teacher. Your the best persin in the world.  See you this Friday."

"I learned . . . honesty and integrity"

"I really learned a lot in your teaching! I learned good manners and honesty and integrity. I liked all your other lessons too." 

Kids have the capacity to learn and understand some pretty deep concepts. You need to know how to teach it to your kids.

A lot of it is simple conversation. I recommend a weekly "Family Meeting" where a chosen topic is discussed, and anything else your child brings up. In time, your children will start bringing up the hidden thoughts in the back of their minds and you'll be thankful for the opportunity to straighten out their thinking before it's too late.

Your children will love having what they call "real" conversations with you. Family Meetings are a wonderful way to actually instill these life skills and principles in their hearts so that it becomes their own inner star that guides them. 

How much easier to handle would your child be? These 2nd graders had no difficulty with these lessons.

Children, like all humans,
have Four sides . . .

1. Physical  (The Body)
You feed, clothe, keep them active and in good shape.

2. Mental  (The Brain)
You send them to school to be educated.

3. Emotional  (The Heart)
It, too, must be educated. Done by the parents YOU at home.

4. Spiritual  (Your Faith)
Gives meaning to life. Without it, the other three do not satisfy us.

Taking care of all four sides produces a "well rounded" individual. As the parent, your obligation is to see that all four sides of your child are cared for and developed. After all, what are parents for? Are you just a caretaker? A warden? No. You are, and must see yourself as...

Guide and

...all rolled into one. 

Teachers, Mentors, Coaches and Guides not only teach their students, cheer them on with praise and encouragement, but also critique and correct them. But you'll notice that being a Critic is not on the list. 

The Transfer of Power and Control



 -  In EIGHTEEN Years!  -

You raise your child from a totally helpless babe when ALL controls are in your hands, to a fully functioning young man or woman when ALL CONTROLS are in THEIR hands. (Yes, you will have to let go).  

Within a span of 18 years you must gradually transfer ALL controls over to them, so they are totally separated, independent young adults ready to step out and stand on their own two feet. "Look out world, here I come!"

Are they ready? 
Did you prepare them well?

You really don't get a second chance 
to go back and fix any mistakes

Whenever I ask parents of grown children this question, "In looking back, what would you have done differently?" They usually say something like, "I wish I hadn't yelled so much," or "I wish I had listened to them more." or "I wish. . ."  Regrets. It's hard to bear. 

Once they've reached that magic age of 18 your job is done!  (Even if you don't think so.) 

And what you will have is . . . experience and hindsight!
And then you'll find yourself saying, "Hmmm, you know, I should've done this . . .  or that . . . or the other thing. 

But it's too late

They've turned 18. What's done is done, your child is no longer listening to you, they have shifted gears and become their own person, intent on running their own life, doing it their way.
However, until that day arrives, you've got work to do!

What do you start with?

Start with the basics...


But... why start with WORK?

Because the ability to work hard and get a job done lays the foundation for everything else you will teach them in the years to come. Such a child will be self motivated and accomplish much.

But a lazy child is difficult to teach and accomplishes very little even with considerable pushing and prodding. 

"Laziness is like vinegar to the teeth and smoke to the eyes!" (Proverbs 10:26). It's a harmful quality in a husband or wife, so how much more so should you be careful that it does not take root in your children? An industrious son or daughter is a joy, a lazy one an aggravation. 

You want them to be:

  • Industrious workers (Diligent and busy, not slackers or lazy)

  • Self Starters (Need no pushing or prodding)

  • Able to carry a job to its completion (Including the "finishing touches")

  • Doing chores without whining or grumbling (A complaining child makes life weary, but a cooperative, pleasant child is energizing, and brings harmony and pleasantness into your home)

  • Reaching out to help others, including their own brothers and sisters. (What a priceless quality this is, and how it delights a parent's heart)

You'll learn how to eliminate the Number One Battle between you and your child - WORK! 

The ability to be a good worker, carry a job through, and do it well without complaint, is the most marvelous skill one could have. It is a life skill that will take them through thick and thin no matter what life hands them.


Everything we want to do 
or achieve in life 
requires some kind of 
sustained effort
to achieve it. 
It's called WORK!
Nothing gets done
without it.

Yet most kids never quite learn this concept of why they should be hard working. Many haven't even gotten past the first step of picking up after themselves. 

Problem is, once the chronic scolding (you) and resistance (them) begins, a family becomes dysfunctional. 

That is why WORK is the focus of my book. It underlies everything else you want them to learn. It is the basis of harmonious relationships rather than combative ones and you will have a calm and peaceful home an oasis from the world outside

No matter whether your child is 3 or 16, these principles apply. I've included typical conversations in the book that you can have with your child, making it easy for you to teach them in a pleasant, conversational way.


You spend a small fortune outfitting your kids from the neck DOWN. And then you spend another fortune educating them from the neck UP. 

But of what value is it if they 
grow up and can't handle life?  

It is the heart that defines them as to the person they are, and the person they will become. The mere acquisition of knowledge does not do that. "Raise Your Kids Right The First Time Around, There Is No Second Chance," helps you to educate their heart, the seat of motivation.


Hi Martha

I do hope this e-mail finds you well. I ordered your ebook. It is tremendous.


Don't reinvent the wheel . . .

By the time you learn whether your method 
worked or not, they are grown and gone . . . 
And precious YEARS are lost!

Do you really want to be saying "Clean up your room" for the next 18 years? Instill that quality in your child at an early age and think of all the years of frustration you will save.  

How many mothers do you know who are still telling their kids at 16 or 17 to clean up their rooms or pick up after themselves? How much is a peaceful home and peaceful relationships with your children worth? How many years of stress would that relieve?  


You gain the benefit of over 30 years of my experience without waiting for the years to pass! What an incredible head start that is. The book is solid information all the way through and primarily focuses on work and behavior.  

It's not just on getting them to do their chores, you can find that kind of information anywhere. 

I show you how to teach them the concepts and principles that underlie the reasons why work is, and will become, an important feature in their lives. That work and behavior is the basis upon which they attain anything else they want in life. That the satisfaction and joy which a job well done brings is priceless! 

And you will know how to instill that pleasure in your child.

You will also gain a new awareness of your role as teacher, coach, mentor, guide and cheerleader for your kids. It will make what you do, easier.  


Thanks so much! I loved the newsletter. Not only did it give me great advice on raising my child, but also made me more self aware. Thank you for what you do. I really appreciate it.

                           Liz Tomey

You can get "Raise Your Kids Right The First Time Around, There Is No Second Chance," today for $19.97 and I'll include...

- FREE - 
With Your Order

Appreciation and Gratitude  
This is key! It is so important. Appreciation and gratitude polishes your children and makes them shine. It is what underlies good or bad attitudes. When you grasp the importance of this basic quality you'll understand why time-outs or restrictions, by themselves, don't cure bad attitudes. This lesson also instills in them an appreciation and gratitude for you and all that you do for them and all that they have. This alone will lighten your load and delight your heart.            (Yours Free - Value: priceless)


Measuring the Timeline  
This is fun for the kids. This lesson measures their "Timeline" and gives them a glimpse of the future. The future is always hard to envision, even for grownups. But this gives them the "Big Picture," a glimpse of their future, their life. And it helps them to become aware of what's ahead of them and how the things they do now (schoolwork, chores, behavior, attitude, etc.) impacts their future. This builds upon the previous lesson about appreciation and gratitude. Each lesson flows easily into the next - and their knowledge grows.     (Yours Free - Value: priceless)


Building Their "House"  
This lesson continues to build upon the previous ones. It is the  third of these three most basic lessons that once you teach it to your kids, you will forever have a "handle" - a simple, kind, and gentle way - for correcting and teaching them all the other lessons and skills they must learn as they grow. Because, the fact is, Mom and Dad, growing up and getting it right really is hard to do.    (Yours Free - Value: priceless)

These three bonus lessons and the book will instill in your children a sense of responsibility and a caring about what they do and how they behave - you will begin to notice a change in behavior and attitude taking place and be quietly pleased. 

What more can I say? I really want you to have all this material. This isn't something I put together on the spur of the moment or in a flash of inspiration. More than three decades of parenting experience stand behind these invaluable lessons. And with those years came hindsight, knowledge, clarity and, I hope, a measure of wisdom.

I know you love your children, but sometimes it's tough to plow your way through the frustration and workload you face daily. And you hate it when you find yourself yelling. But that only happens because you don't know what else to do because, so far, no matter what you do, nothing seems to change. 

You only have 18 years to be a hands-on Mom or Dad. And believe me, the years fly by faster than you think. (Wasn't it only yesterday your precious baby was born?) Don't let frustration or anger get in the way of enjoying every moment of it. And always remember, yelling is not parenting.

My guarantee. . .


If you don't see the results YOU want or expect  -or- 
if you are unsatisfied with it in any way at all . . . 


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Thank you,

Martha Stevens

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